Flight Of The Conchords: South Of Nowhere Edition
by Live.Skate.Die
Summary: Carmen and Ashley are in a band. They are from New Zealand, and they move to New York, it really like the show Flight Of The Conchords. to watch any of the videos for the songs go to Youtube and search Flight Of the Conchords


**I do not own flight of the Conchords or any of the songs**

**This is like a musical type show so there may be random songs you might not understand but if you read them they are really funny and I will leave links to view the video of the song that were in the fic**

_**Singing in italics**___**Talking in normal font**

**Setting is on the streets of new your walking on the side walk **

"Man back in New Zealand I was getting it on with a lot of chicks" said Carman

"Who" said Ashley with her guitar case

"Um Sara Fitzpatrick, Tina Fitzpatrick, Clair Fitzpatrick" said Carmen

"Is that all" said Ashley

"No it's like triple figures" said Carmen

"No that's just three girls" said Ashley

"What ever I get with pretty hot women" said Carman

"Ya that really all you talk about is getting with pretty hot woman" said Ashley

"Yes your right that's all I talk about" said Carman smiling at the comment

"Oh this is Dave's house, I guess we didn't need a map" said Ashley looking up at the apartment

Let's go back a little so you can understand who me and Carman are

I'm Ashley Davies I play guitar and sing and my best mate Carmen also plays guitar and sing but she plays bass too. We are from New Zealand not Australia are accents are totally different so don't get it confused ok. Well we made a band together and were called flight of the conchords. Our manager is Murray he's good I guess we get gigs but there at the weirdest places but we still play at them. We have been living in New York for maybe 12 months. We've made a few friends like Dave he owns a pawn shop and well Mel she's kind of weird but she's our biggest fan so I try to look past the fact she's so weird. But…well that's it at least I thing

"Carman...Carman it that it" said Ashley

"Um pretty much" said Carmen

**Ok than back to the party at Dave's house **

"Hey Dave nice party thanks for inviting us" said Carman

"Ya man thanks" said Ashley as they stand by Dave who is leaning in the side of the wall

"Um no offence but can you guys get the hell away I'm trying to seem lonely" said Dave making a pouting face

"Why ya wanna seem lonely" said Ashley

"Chicks dig lonely guys" said Dave

"Well what about Fred, I mean he's lonely he never gets girls" said Carman as the look over at Fred by him self smelling his food

"He knows what he's doing" said Dave" now get the hell away so I can seem lonely"

"Um where's your bathroom" said Ashley

"Down the hall on the left" said Dave

"Thanks" said Ashley heading to the bathroom

"Fine" said Carman going to grab some food then sits on the sofa and she looks around and she a girl that just takes her breath away by the name of Sally

"_Looking round the room, I can tell that you. Are the most beautiful girl in the...room" sang Carman as guitars start playing _

"_In the whole wide room" sang Ashley turning away from the person she is talking to and then talks to them again _

"_And when you're on the street, depending on the street. I bet you are definitely in the top three. Good looking' girls on the street" sang Carman getting up from the sofa_

"_Depending on the street" sang Ashley turning away from the person she is talking to_

"_And when I saw you at my mate's place .I thought...what, is she, doing...at my mate's place. How did he get a hottie like that to a party like this…good one Dave" sang Carmen doing a little dance_

"_Ooh, you're a legend, Dave" sang Ashley putting her cup up to Dave_

"_I asked Dave if he's going to move on you. He's not sure .I said "Dave, do you mind if I do?" He says he doesn't mind .But I can tell he kind of minds. But I'm going to do it anyway" sang Carman standing in front of dave _

"_I see you standing all alone by the stereo. I dim the lights down to very low" sang Carmen flicking the light switch off" here we go you're so beautiful. You could be a waitress. You're so beautiful. You could be an air hostess in the 're so beautiful. You could be a part-time model But then I seal the deal, I do my moves. I do my dance moves." Doing a dance where she shakes from side to side _

"_Lets travel through, just me and you. As other dudes around you on the dance floor. I draw you near, let's get out of here. Let's get in a cab" sang Carmen dancing with the girl_

**Setting them at a dinner eating kabobs**

" _I'll buy you a kabob. I can't believe. I'm sharing a kabob. With the most beautiful girl I have ever seen with a kabob." Sang Carmen to the girl as they sit at the table "Oh, why don't we leave? Let's go to my house. We can feel each other up on the no; I don't mind taking it slow."_

_Setting Back at their apartment as Carmen and the girl sits on the sofa _

"_Cause__ you're so beautiful...Like a tree. Or a high class is so beautiful.  
You could be a part time model. But you'd probably still have to keep your normal job. A part time model. Spend part of your time modeling. And part of your time next to me." Sang Carmen doing a dance where she moves her shoulders_

"_My place is usually tidier then this" said Carmen kissing the girl _

"Oh hey guys" said Ashley flicking on the light by her bed

"oh hey ash" said Carman" That's Ashley …turn the light off Ashley"

"Um no leave it on I think I'm going to go" said Sally shifting uncomfortably on the sofa

"Wait don't go" said Carmen

"So…on or off with the light then" said Ashley

"No I'll call you later" said Sally leaving

"I don't know what happened, I put on all my moves I walked on the outside of her" said Carmen sitting on the edge of Ashley's bed" I paid for half the taxi…should I have paid for the whole taxi"

"…um I don't know, look I'm going to sleep" said Ashley turning off the light

**Friday **

Both Ashley and Carmen are lying in there beds

"Hey Ash I know where I went wrong last night" said Carmen

"What" said Ashley with her headphones on

"I said I think I know where I went wrong last night" said Carman" when you turned on the light she wanted to leave, I don't think she liked the light"

"Ya…I think it's also cause me and her used to go out" said Ashley

"um ya I think that's it but um I know you freaked her out with the light" said Carmen" she was thinking oh this is a nice situation, then uh how turned on the light"

"ya maybe but I think it cause me and her dated…for like 6 months" said Ashley

A few hours later

Setting in the elevator

"Ya and the last thing you want to see when your hooking up is your ex" said Ashley

"Ya sure" said Carmen

"May I interject" said their landlord in the elevator with them

"Sure" said Ashley

"what do you think of this" said their landlord showing them a knob for the door

"ya it's fine" said Carmen kind of frustrated" I think she found it very off putting"

**At Murray's office **

Murray's office is covered with new Zealand posters I guess they remind him of home of something, I think there kind of stupid

"Ok girls Carman" said Murray looking down at his check list

"Yes I'm obviously here" said Carmen sitting in the chair in front of Murray's desk

"We just have to check" said Murray

"What is the point of taking roll" said Carmen" I'm here your looking at me"

"Ok so how was Dave's party" said Murray playing with his pencil

"It was ok" said Ashley

"You are aware that I was not invited" said Murray

"Yes we knew" said Carmen with a straight face

"so they knew" said Murray writing it down in his note pad" next ways to increase our fan base"

"What fan base" said Ashley

"The people that are fans" said Murray

"You mean Mel" asked Ashley

"That's not a fan base that's just a woman" said Carmen

"it's just easier to call it that" said Murray" it makes it sound bigger ok"

"Ya that good" said Ashley

"Ya it's good" said Carmen

"Um Murray what do you think of this poster" said one of his co workers coming in the office with a poster that's says: New Zealand…..Rocks!!!

"Um that's great, how about another exclamation" said Murray

"That's a little over the top" sad the man walking out

"Ya your right" said Murray nodding his head

"So what about the gig at the aquarium" said Ashley

"there was a little typo in that, they wanted sand… you know it was in that wavy font the S looked like a B" said Murray" but I sent them our demo and they liked it they might play it in the lobby"

"That's positive" said Carmen as Ashley nodding in agreement

"I think we should make a music video" said Ashley

"Oh good job Ashley "said Murray

"So was I" said Carmen

"good job Ashley and Carmen" said Murray" I can take Friday off….." calling his boss" how's Saturday sound"

**Saturday**

Ashley and Carmen are walking down the stairs of their house to leave ro meet Murray

"Ok hey" said Mel wearing her Flight of the Conchords shirt

"Oh hi Mel" said Ashley

"Funny to see you here" said Mel

"What, in front of our house" said Ashley smiling

"Oh Ashley your so funny" said Mel giggling

"What are you doing down Mr. Lee's stair well" said Carmen

"Jogging…I waited for you guys at the aquarium last night for ever, what time did you guys go on" said Mel

"Um the show was canceled" said Ashley

"What" said Mel in a very annoying voice

"It was cancelled look we have to go now ok" said Carmen running away from her

At the pawn shop with Dave

"Hey what's up guys" said Dave" you have a good time at the party"

"Ya it was fun" said Ashley

"How did things go with you and sally" said Dave

"Um great, really…no it was bad really bad" said Carmen

"Didn't you go out with her before" said Dave

"No that was Ashley" said Carmen

"Oh well look I don't know how they do things in England" said Dave

"New Zealand" said Ashley and Carmen

"What ever but you don't date a girl your friend has dated it's just weird in the US" said Dave

"actually that would be considered weird in New Zealand too" said Murray" do you have any cameras Dave"

"What's your budget" said Dave

"Um Budget, where you get one of those" said Murray kind of confused

"How much do you want to spend" said Dave

"I don't, we don't have any money really" said Murray

**20 minutes later **

**Setting on a street by a wall of graffiti**

"And action" said Murray

Ashley and Carmen are dressed in robot suits made out of boxes

"I don't think that's a proper camera Murray" said Ashley" think it's mostly a phone"

"Ya they don't use those to make music videos" said Carmen

"Well this is all we have, your showing up clearly so it's ok" said Murray

"What are these" said Carmen playing with the knobs on her robot suit" they look like nipples"

"Don't touch them I spent ages on that" said Murray

"We wanted to look like daft punk these are just boxes" said Carmen

"don't know who he is" said Murray" and Ashley don't walk like that, you're too relaxed you should be robots"

**After the video **

Sitting by Murray's car

"I just think she's the one" said Carmen

"Sally" said Ashley" the one, how do you know"

"You just know, it will happen to you one day" said Carmen

"I though you said Clair was the one" said Ashley confused

"you get more than one…one" said Carmen" I've had like five, how many have you had"

"Just one, just one" said Ashley

For the last few days Sally and Carmen have spent a lot of time together, I never see her. She really my only friend…but I have stuff I can do like play guitar and play Frisbee by my self which didn't turn out to good cause well no one to pass it back, so I took up this dance class in the park with some older women it's a lots of fun

**Monday **

Ashley is sitting on the sofa tuning her guitar

"Hey Ashley do you mind like finding something to do tonight so me and sally can be alone" said Carmen

"Well tonight I'm doing my secret project and it's on the board so not really" said Ashley pointing at the board

"You mean the helmet that looks like your hair" said Carmen

"Ya" said Ashley

"Why don't you just come out with us" said Carmen

"no, do you know how weird that would be going out with my ex and my best mate who is dating her" said Ashley

"Not it will be ok you like sally, sally like me, sally doesn't like you it's all ok" said Carmen

"It will be weird" said Ashley

"It won't be weird" said Carmen

"It will" said Ashley

**30 minutes later **

Ashley, Carmen and Sally are at dinner

"You were right it is a little bit weird with you here" said Carmen

"Ya I told you" said Ashley

"no it's ok" said sally" it's just like the dates me and Ashley had you would always come"

"It's good to see you sally, you look great tonight" said Ashley

"Thank you" said Sally smiling

"Hey this is my date" said Carmen with a mean look

"just saying" said Ashley" this is weird I think I will go"

"Ya your should" said Carmen

"Ya but I ordered" said Ashley

"You should leave" said Carmen

"Ya, will you bring my food home" said Ashley

"Ya I will just go" said Carmen

"Ya" said Ashley walking out

**Right as she walks out her food comes to the table **

**A few hours later **

**Carmen and Sally are walking home**

"What do you think about us doing something this weekend" said Carmen

"I don't know, I'm a little busy" said Sally

"What" said Carmen

"I don't think we should see each other anymore" said Sally

"Do you want to take a break" said Carmen

"No, were not even in a relationship" said Sally

"Do you want to start off the relationship with a break" said Carmen

"no I was just looking for fun" said Sally" and I thought you were Australian"

"So, you're leaving, aren't you? I knew it when you said just then when you told me you were leaving That's when I definitely knew But if you're trying to break my heart Your plan is flawed from the start You can't break my heart, it's liquid It melted when I met you And as you turn around to leave Don't' turn back to me Don't turn around and see if I'm crying I'm not crying" said Carmen walking away

"_I'm not crying it's just been raining, on my face and if you think you see some tear tracks down my cheeks Please. Pleasee, don't tell my mates" sang Carmen walking away _

"_I'm not crying No, I'm not crying And if I am crying It's not because of you It's because I'm thinking about a friend of mine who you don't know who is dying That's right, dying  
These aren't tears of sadness because you're leaving me I've just been cutting onions  
I'm making a lasagna For one Oh, I'm not crying No" sang Ashley crying by the window in the apartment_

**Setting it's raining**

"_There's just a little bit of dust in my eye That's from the path that you made when you said your goodbye I'm not weeping because you won't be here to hold my hand  
For your information there's an inflammation in my tear gland, I'm not upset because you left me this way My eyes are just a little sweaty today They've been looking around  
They're like searching for you They've been looking for you Even though I told them not to, These aren't tears of sadness They're tears of joy" sang Ashley and Carmen as they stand in the rain_

"_I'm just laughing Ha ha ha-ha ha I'm sitting at this table called love, Staring down at the irony of life How come we've reached this fork in the road And yet it cuts like a knife?  
I'm not crying I'm not crying I'm not cry-y-y-y--y-y-y-y-ing" sang Ashley and Carmen as Ashley jumps around behind her in a puddle of water _

Tuesday

"so I broke up with sally, I can see why you and her didn't work out" said Carmen" it was hard work"

"Um she broke up with me" said Ashley sitting down at the table

"Ya she broke up with me to that's what I mean it was hard stay with her when she wanted to break up all the time" said Carmen

"Ya your right" said Ashley

"Didn't you and her get back together" said Carmen

"Ya for like 3 week and then she broke up with me again" said Ashley

"Oh" said Carmen

"Your not trying to get back together with her are you" said Ashley

"Well no" said Carmen

TBC


End file.
